I’m Concerned About Leading My Teammates and Friends
Dear Durable Minds,
I have just been selected captain and I have so many friends on the team. I know I am going to ask them to do things they don't want to do or have to call out challenging behavior at times, but I don’t want my role to hurt our friendship either. Do you have any suggestions - Tricky Times
“You don’t inspire your teammates by showing them how amazing you are. You inspire them by showing them how amazing they are!”
Dear Tricky Times,
Firstly, congratulations on your selection as captain! This achievement reflects your leadership capabilities and the respect you command among your peers. Nonetheless, it's natural to feel some trepidation about balancing your newfound responsibilities with maintaining your friendships.
Your role's scope will be determined by your head coach, which varies between merely assisting in drills to having difficult conversations and enforcing accountability. Trust forms the bedrock of any new endeavor, be it with a coach, a job, or a friendship. Just as you've established trust with your coach to earn the captaincy, you'll extend this trust to navigate these new situations. Here are some suggestions for you and your coaching squad:
The balancing act of leadership and friendship:
Open Communication: Transparently discuss your new role and responsibilities with both your coaches and friends. Assure them that your actions aim to benefit the team's success.
Set Clear Boundaries: Differentiate between your roles as a friend and as a captain, emphasizing leadership during team activities and maintaining friendships outside of these contexts to minimize friction.
Lead by Example: Your actions should exemplify the behavior and commitment you expect from your teammates, including being receptive to feedback from your coach.
Be Fair and Consistent: Apply rules and expectations uniformly across the team, avoiding favoritism towards friends to prevent resentment among other members.
Foster Team Unity: Engage in team-building activities to strengthen relationships and trust among all members, promoting a cohesive team atmosphere.
Seek Feedback: Encourage open dialogue for constructive criticism from teammates, demonstrating your willingness to adapt and grow as a leader.
Address Issues Promptly: Resolve conflicts promptly and professionally to prevent escalation, approaching them with a solution-oriented mindset.
Remember, being selected as captain signifies trust and respect from your team. Despite challenges, leading with empathy, fairness, and transparency can help maintain friendships while effectively guiding your team. Embrace your role confidently, knowing that true friends will support your efforts to balance leadership and friendship.
As a Coach, you are the keystone to creating a comfortable environment for your leadership team.
Set Expectations for your team leaders, I suggest convening a meeting with your coaching staff and any other team leaders. This will ensure clarity regarding your coaching expectations. Start by jotting down these expectations, then refine them for clarity using additional filters.
For instance:
"Captains, I expect you to oversee the individual skills drill when we break into groups."
Clarity Filter:
“This includes:
Explaining the drill to anyone who may not comprehend it.
Demonstrating an example of the drill.
Inquiring if there are any questions or uncertainties.
Initiating the drill.
Making necessary adjustments while remaining patient with those who are learning.”
Practice Scenarios: Rehearse common situations to reinforce understanding and readiness among team leaders.
Share The Roles and Responsibilities of Your Leadership Team: Communicate expectations with the entire team, alleviating any uncertainty among leaders and fostering a cohesive team dynamic.
Just as teams practice to improve their skills, continue developing your leaders' abilities to cultivate a team of enthusiastic supporters.