Invisible Athlete: How To Be Accepted
Dear Durable Minds,
I'm a lacrosse player who just joined a new team. I'm excited to be part of this team, but I'm feeling a bit left out. I haven't been fully accepted by my teammates yet, and I'm struggling to connect with them. - Invisible Athlete
Dear Invisible Athlete,
I can understand how you might be feeling. Joining a new team can be exciting, but it can also be challenging to build connections with new teammates. It's natural to want to feel accepted and included, and it can be tough when you don't feel that way yet.
It might take some time to get to know your teammates and for them to get to know you, but I encourage you to keep putting yourself out there and being open to new connections. You never know, your teammates might be feeling the same way and just need someone to make the first move. I would suggest the following:
Sharing personal information:
According to a study published in the Journal of Applied Sport Psychology, sharing personal information is positively associated with the development of trust and cohesion within sports teams. The study found that athletes who engaged in more self-disclosure (sharing personal information) reported higher levels of trust and cohesion with their teammates than athletes who engaged in less self-disclosure. This suggests that sharing personal information can be an effective strategy for building trust and promoting teamwork.
Sharing personal information can take many forms. It can include talking about hobbies, interests, family, personal goals, or even fears and weaknesses. It is important to note that sharing personal information does not mean sharing everything about yourself. It is important to use discretion and judgment when sharing personal information and to consider the appropriateness of the information for the given situation. Additionally, it is important to respect the privacy of others and not share personal information that is not your own to share.
Being reliable and consistent:
Being reliable and consistent is crucial for building trust with teammates. When athletes consistently show up on time, put in effort, and follow through on their commitments, teammates can rely on them. This reliability creates a sense of dependability and trust. It is important to remember that reliability is not just about being physically present, but also being mentally and emotionally present.
Clear communication:
Clear communication is also important for building trust. Athletes who communicate openly, honestly, and respectfully are more likely to be trusted by their teammates. Clear communication helps teammates understand each other's expectations and avoid misunderstandings, which can lead to mistrust. It is important to listen actively, ask clarifying questions, and express yourself clearly and respectfully.
Willingness to move past mistakes:
Athletes who are able to admit their mistakes, take responsibility for their actions, and work to make amends can rebuild trust with their teammates. It is important to remember that mistakes are a natural part of growth and learning, and that forgiveness and understanding are key to building stronger relationships.
Ultimately, building trust through a willingness to move past mistakes requires a growth mindset. Athletes who see mistakes as opportunities for learning and growth are more likely to approach difficult situations with resilience and a positive attitude. By focusing on the bigger picture and working together to overcome challenges, athletes can build stronger relationships and achieve greater success as a team.
Be courageous and share with the coach how you are feeling about the lack of inclusion with the team.
When communicating with your teammates, actively listen to what they have to say and show a genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings. Use clarifying questions to ensure that you understand what they are saying, and respond in a respectful and empathetic manner.
Embrace a growth mindset: Instead of dwelling on mistakes, use them as an opportunity for growth and learning. Take responsibility for your actions and work to make amends, and encourage your teammates to do the same. This can help foster an environment of forgiveness and understanding, leading to stronger relationships and a more cohesive team.
Be observant for any indications of teammate isolation or exclusion and help the athlete make a connection with others.
Provide various chances for athletes to reveal their personal information, through casual conversations on the bus or in the locker room, without the need for formal icebreaker activities.