Is My Coach Giving Me Feedback, Blaming or Shaming?
Dear Durable Minds,
My coaches and captains are constantly giving me feedback, most of the time it seems like they are blaming or shaming me. Am I being too dramatic? What do I need to understand about feedback so I can get over it? - Abit Sensitive
Feedback is a G.I.F.T.
-Given with permission
-Intended for growth
-For the person, not about the person
-Targeted for success
Dear Abit Sensitive,
Receiving feedback can be tough, especially when it feels like criticism rather than constructive input. If you're an athlete and find yourself in a situation where your coaches and captains are constantly providing feedback that feels like blame or shame, you're not alone. It's essential to recognize that your feelings are valid, and you're not being too dramatic. In this blog post, we'll explore how sensitive individuals can better understand and cope with such feedback to foster growth and resilience in the world of sports.
To ensure better buy-in from your athletes, follow these steps:
Acknowledge Your Sensitivity
First and foremost, it's crucial to recognize and accept your sensitivity. Sensitivity can be a strength, allowing you to connect with your emotions deeply and empathize with others. However, it can also make receiving critical feedback more challenging. Understanding and accepting your sensitivity is the first step toward managing your reactions.
Separate Feedback from Personal Identity
When feedback feels like blame or shame, remember that it's about your performance, not your worth as a person. Coaches and captains provide feedback to help you improve as an athlete, not to attack you personally. Learning to separate your identity from the feedback can make it easier to process.
Open Communication Channels
Consider having a candid conversation with your coaches and captains. Express your feelings and concerns about the feedback you've been receiving. They may not be aware of how their feedback is affecting you emotionally. Opening up communication can lead to a more constructive feedback dynamic.
Seek Clarification
When feedback seems overly critical, ask for specific examples or clarification. This can help you understand precisely what needs improvement and may reveal that the feedback isn't as harsh as it initially seemed.
Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness techniques can be beneficial for sensitive individuals. Practicing mindfulness can help you stay present in the moment and manage your emotional reactions to feedback. Breathing exercises and meditation can be valuable tools.
Focus on Growth
Shift your perspective from seeing feedback as a judgment to viewing it as an opportunity for growth. Remember that even the most successful athletes receive feedback regularly to improve their performance. Embrace this as a chance to become a better athlete.
Develop Resilience
Building emotional resilience takes time but can be incredibly empowering. Engage in activities that help you build mental toughness, such as visualization exercises, goal-setting, and positive self-talk. Surround yourself with a support network that understands and encourages your journey.
Seek Support
Don't hesitate to seek support from a sports psychologist or counselor who can help you manage your emotions and develop coping strategies for dealing with challenging feedback.
As a sensitive athlete, receiving feedback that feels like blame or shame can be a real struggle. However, it's essential to remember that your sensitivity is not a weakness. By acknowledging your emotions, separating feedback from your identity, fostering open communication, and practicing mindfulness and resilience, you can transform challenging feedback into a catalyst for personal and athletic growth. Ultimately, your journey as an athlete is about becoming the best version of yourself, and learning to handle feedback constructively is a significant step in that direction.