Am I Being “Carewashed”?
Dear Durable Minds,
Our entire team has to attend a Yoga session. I don't know what to expect and honestly I need just one day to myself and a break from my team? -Checking the Box
“We are not a team because we work together. We are a team because we respect, trust and care for each other” - Vala Afshar
Dear Checking the Box,
Sports are often celebrated for their “work hard, play hard” cultures. Whether on a high school team, in college athletics, or at the professional level, athletes are praised for their grit, resilience, and ability to push through mental and physical fatigue. Coaches, parents, and sports programs often tout their “care” for athletes by offering surface-level solutions:
What happens when this care is performative, not genuine? A professional and friend of mine recently shared this Harvard Business Review article on LInkedIn, titled How "Carewashing" Alienates Employees. Similar to corporate carewashing, where leaders claim to prioritize employee well-being while ignoring deeper cultural issues, athletics can fall into the same trap. Teams say they value athlete wellness, but sometimes fail to align those words with action, leading to stress, burnout, distrust, and disengagement.
Athletes—much like employees in organizations—thrive in cultures of authenticity, psychological safety, and trust. Programs that prioritize real care see improvements in performance, longevity, and overall well-being. Let’s explore how carewashing can alienate athletes and what parents, coaches, and athletes themselves can do to create meaningful change.
What is Carewashing, and How Does It Show Up in Sports?
In their Harvard Business Review article, Maren Gube and her co-authors define carewashing as the misalignment between an organization’s stated culture of care and the daily lived experiences of its people. In sports, carewashing happens when:
Surface-level efforts replace real care: Programs offer yoga classes or mindfulness tools, while ignoring deeper issues like unrealistic training loads, toxic team dynamics, or athletes’ mental fatigue.
Mixed messages are sent: A coach tells athletes to “rest and recover” but penalizes anyone who doesn’t attend every optional workout.
Winning overshadows well-being: Coaches and even parents dismiss athletes' mental or emotional struggles with phrases like “toughen up” or “this is what it takes to win.”
Issues are ignored or minimized: Athletes raising concerns about burnout, bullying, or anxiety are met with platitudes like “you’ll be fine” rather than real solutions.
These mismatched messages erode trust and leave athletes feeling unsupported. When words don’t align with actions, athletes may withdraw emotionally, push through pain to their detriment, or burn out entirely.
Why a Culture of Genuine Care Matters
Research highlights that emotions drive behavior, performance, and motivation. Athletes, like employees, crave relatedness—a sense that they’re seen, heard, and supported as individuals, not just competitors.
A real culture of care in sports has powerful benefits:
Better performance: Athletes who feel emotionally safe are more likely to take risks, make mistakes, and learn without fear of judgment.
Improved retention: Programs that prioritize wellness keep athletes engaged and invested long-term.
Stronger trust and communication: Athletes feel empowered to voice concerns or seek help, fostering healthier team dynamics.
Be honest about your needs:
Set boundaries: Advocate for yourself. If your body or mind is telling you it’s time to rest, communicate that clearly and calmly to your coach.
Find trusted support: Whether it’s a professional, parent, mentor, or teammate, share your struggles with someone who will listen without judgment.
Focus on long-term growth: Short-term gains aren’t worth long-term harm. Prioritize your well-being so you can enjoy sports for years to come.
Develop a “mental needs checklist.” Before each practice or game, ask yourself: “Am I physically ready? Am I mentally prepared? Am I emotionally okay?” If something feels off, address it proactively.
Lead by example:
Be consistent in your messaging and actions: If you preach rest and recovery, model it. Avoid demanding late-night film sessions or optional-but-mandatory practices.
Foster psychological safety: Build trust by listening to your athletes without judgment. If someone shares they’re overwhelmed, don’t dismiss it—problem-solve together.
Prioritize whole-athlete development: Recognize that success isn’t just about wins. Celebrate effort, growth, and well-being as much as outcomes.
Conduct anonymous check-ins every few weeks. Use simple questions like, “On a scale of 1–10, how supported do you feel?” and “What can I do better as a coach?”
Support, Don’t Pressure
Listen without problem-solving: If your child expresses stress, resist the urge to fix it. Sometimes, they just need you to hear them.
Reframe success: Help your child focus on their journey rather than the outcome. Be the example of progress over perfection
Monitor their mental load: Burnout isn’t just physical—it’s mental too. Watch for signs of exhaustion, like irritability, withdrawal, or declining performance.
Create a “no-sports” zone at home—times when athletics aren’t discussed so your child can recharge mentally.
